Stallone Superhero Flick ‘Samaritan’ is Good but Not Great

Sommerleigh Pollonais, Senior Writer

Plot: A young boy learns that a superhero who was thought to have gone missing after an epic battle 20 years ago may in fact still be around.

Review: Sylvester Stallone as an aging superhero. On paper this sounds like a movie that has a lot of potential to be entertaining; think Rambo with less guns and more punching. Instead what we got was a movie that looks more like a first draft script with a couple of cool ideas that needed punching up to stick the superhero landing.

Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots?! I love these guys!

The best part of Samaritan is in the opening sequence. Narration and a visually fun sequence show in comic book-style the origin of Samaritan and his brother and arch enemy, Nemesis. Fast forward to present day and we’re introduced to Sam (Javon ‘Wanna’ Walton), a 13-year-old boy who lives with his mother in Granite City (yup, that’s the actual name) and who’s obsessed with the conspiracy theory that states Samaritan somehow survived his epic battle with his brother that ended with a power plant explosion. We never get a reason for WHY Sam thinks this superhero is alive (matter of fact we never get much reason for anything here) and he spends his days pulling off petty thefts to help pay the rent until one day he comes across some of the most clichéd gang members I’ve seen since Michael Jackson’s Bad music video. A grizzled old man named Joe (Sly Stallone) comes to his rescue, hitting them with punches that throw them yards away and yet somehow manage NOT to kill them in the process. And just like that, Sam believes he’s found his hero.

Samaritan, a story previously adapted into the Mythos Comics graphic novels, is one of those movies that prays its audience is either too stoned or too lazy to ask questions. This movie has tons of gun fights and melee battles but no one bleeds/dies except for a few bloody noses here and there. Sam isn’t a bad character and the young actor portraying him does his best, but he basically comes across like a lost member of The Goonies. Pilou Asbaek is a wonderful actor who I enjoy seeing on screen. Most of you will remember him as Euron Greyjoy from Game of Thrones and he’s usually the villain in most of his films. He takes up the same type of role here, but his character is as stereotypical as they come, and you won’t even care what his motivations are. Stallone does his best impression of John Rambo sans the big knife and with a lot cooler facial hair. All this is to say Samaritan is as bland a superhero movie as they come.

I didn’t draw first blood. They drew first blood. I drew second blood. And third. Maybe fourth. I kind of lost count

There’s also a twist/reveal that I saw coming five minutes into this movie and I’m sure most everyone will too. Maybe if this came out in the 90s it would’ve ranked as a solid superhero movie but as of right now? Samaritan doesn’t do anything fans of this genre haven’t seen before. And the best I can say is it’s a decent movie that would’ve benefited from an R rating to make it something more worthy of its premise.

Score: 6 out of 10

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2755F829-2EEC-4A68-B6F7-F963F48C9D92 Sommerleigh of the House Pollonais. First of Her Name. Sushi Lover, Queen of Horror Movies, Comic Books and Binge Watching Netflix. Mother of two beautiful black cats named Vader and Kylo. I think eating Popcorn at the movies should be mandatory, PS4 makes the best games ever, and I’ll be talking about movies until the zombie apocalypse comes.

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