Sommerleigh Pollonais, Horror Head Writer
Plot: In this gruesome suspense film strangers traveling in southern Italy become stranded in the woods where they must fight desperately to get out alive.
Review: Cool premise but this film struggles to stick the landing. A Classic Horror Story is a bit difficult to review without spoiling it, but here goes. What would happen if you took the retro look of Texas Chainsaw Massacre added the atmosphere of Italian giallo films like Tenebre and threw in the satire of Cabin in the Woods? Well you just might come out with a movie that looks a bit like A Classic Horror Story.
The cinematography is the strongest aspect of this movie as it looks like it was shot in the 70s. The love for classic horror films is shown in every frame shot by directors Roberto De Feo (even the dude’s last name invokes a classic horror movie) and Paolo Strippoli. The story starts off like any typical horror movie, with a radically mixed group of folks travelling in an RV only to run off the road and wake up in their own living nightmare. The gore is GLORIOUSLY practical and as the story progresses it only gets better and better.
Speaking of which, the story is a love letter to the genre but I honestly can’t say more without spoiling huge portions of it. What I will say is while I enjoyed most of this movie, the pieces don’t quite fit as well as they should. Considering what we learn as things progress it just doesn’t hold up to scrutiny, and if you think about it too much it all falls apart. So what you’re left with is characters making stupid decisions just to move the story forward, and a strong first half that falls victim to a weak and rushed final act that contains one twist too many.
And what is with that ending?! There’s a huge difference between poking fun at a genre and making fans feel like you’re disrespecting their love of it. I don’t know about anyone else but what they chose to do here felt a bit like they were flipping audiences the bird. Definitely not cool.
It’s a solid attempt at making a movie that shows love for the classics that came before, but sadly A Classic Horror Story falls victim to a bottom-heavy ending that couldn’t decide if it wanted to be serious or comedic, classic or modern. And in doing so it trips over itself before it even reaches the finish line.
Sommer’s Score: 5.5 out of 10
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Sommerleigh of the House Pollonais. First of Her Name. Sushi Lover, Queen of Horror Movies, Comic Books and Binge Watching Netflix. Mother of two beautiful black cats named Vader and Kylo. I think eating Popcorn at the movies should be mandatory, PS4 makes the best games ever, and I’ll be talking about movies until the zombie apocalypse comes.
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