‘Jakob’s Wife’ is a Fun Horror Comedy with Top Notch Practical Effects

Sommerleigh Pollonais, Horror Head Writer

Plot: Anne is married to a small-town minister and feels her life has been shrinking over the past 30 years. Encountering “The Master” brings her a new sense of power and an appetite to live bolder. However, the change comes with a heavy body count.

Review: Men aren’t the only ones who can have a mid-life crisis. Some women also struggle with these issues when they hit the “point of no return” known as your forties. In this case it’s Anne Fedder, played by one of the more underrated Scream Queens out there, Barbara Crampton (Re-Animator, From Beyond, You’re Next). Poor Annie is stuck in a rut, living in a sleepy town and married to the pastor, Jakob Fedder, played by Larry Fessenden (Habit, The House of the Devil, Wendigo). But Anne gets more excitement than she could’ve possibly bargained for when The Master turns her into a vampire.

ANNE INNER MONOLOGUE: I wonder if they have heavy duty sunscreen. I need an SPF 1,000

I had a lot of fun with this low budget horror comedy, more than I actually thought I would. What started off as slow and a bit boring builds into a fun, over-the-top ode to horror stories such as Salem’s Lot (The Master looks exactly like the main vampire in that series).

And this blood-soaked tale of a marriage on the rocks which gets some much needed blood pumped into its veins wouldn’t have worked if not for the great chemistry and strong performances of our leads, Crampton and Fessenden. They totally sell you on an older couple who still love each other but who have lost touch with one another, only to have unwanted vampirism bring them together.

Oh hi Ned. We’re just moving some…furniture. Yes. Furniture. Why is it shaped like a human body? Ah, Ned. You were always too nosy for your own good *RAWR*

Now I’m not gonna pretend this is some great movie that everyone should watch. As I mentioned earlier it struggles with the pacing but does pick up steam as the film goes along. The budget here is also minimal so we don’t get that many kills, but I did love the look of the vampires here and the practical effects were top notch. It is definitely a nod to Nosferatu and Salem’s Lot, with the glowing eyes, bat-like appearance, and fangs set in the middle of their mouths, instead of the more common “sexy” look.

It won’t win any awards and is likely to fly under the radar, but with some standout performances and a nice bit of metaphor on getting older and feeling invisible in your relationship, there’s just enough here for me to say Jakob’s Wife is one of the better vampire movies I’ve seen in quite a while.

Sommer’s Score: 6 out of 10

For more vamps you can check out my Top 10 Ugliest/Scariest Vampires list by clicking here. For more Barbara Crampton you can check out my review of cult horror flick Sacrifice by clicking here. Or for more horror comedy you can check out my review of Anything for Jackson by clicking here.

2755F829-2EEC-4A68-B6F7-F963F48C9D92 Sommerleigh of the House Pollonais. First of Her Name. Sushi Lover, Queen of Horror Movies, Comic Books and Binge Watching Netflix. Mother of two beautiful black cats named Vader and Kylo. I think eating Popcorn at the movies should be mandatory, PS4 makes the best games ever and I’ll be talking about movies until the zombie apocalypse comes.

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