Sommerleigh Pollonais – Senior Writer
Because if not now, then when, let’s check out my TOP 5 FAVOURITE PANDEMIC MOVIES:
You know how some movies seem uninteresting when they first drop, only to be viewed as something totally different as time goes by. I feel like Carriers is now one of those movies. Starring the fourth-most bankable of the Chrisses, Chris Pine, the film features fourth-tier Chris and his friends seeking safe haven as a lethal virus spreads across the globe.
Of all the movies on this list this one hits the closest to home, with scenes of people wearing gloves and masks, super paranoid of letting any strangers get too close, and characters freaking losing their minds when someone so much as sneezes.
I’m betting this movie gets more views now, even if Chris “I’ve-been-in-a-superhero-movie-too” Pine wasn’t in the leading role.
#4 Cabin Fever
Upping the ante on the no-touching rule, Cabin Fever adds the gross factor to their virus, by making it a flesh-eating one (Covid19 sucks balls, but it could’ve been SO MUCH worse). And while the events here take place on a smaller scale, with five friends doing the cabin-in-the-woods thing, it does end with one of the infected dropping dead in the town’s local water supply.
No amount of toilet paper is gonna fix THAT. Just sayin’.
#3 28 Days Later
As most of us are under self-quarantine, we know from the news covid-19 takes 14 days to show symptoms. Unfortunately for the unlucky folks in this movie, you’ve got about 14 seconds before your ass is grass.
Proving once again that monkeys are a-holes, this virus is spread when some lab monkeys are set free by a bunch of do-gooders (road to hell and all that) and completely decimates the UK. There are only a handful of safe havens to be found as the fastest zombies known to man test your endurance and your ability to not piss yourself while running for your life.
Now that I think about it, the only exercise most countries are allowing right now outdoors is running. I really hope that’s not code for anything…
#2 Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
“Get your stinking paws off me you DAMN DIRTY APES!” I’m amazed more people aren’t running around saying this while #socialdistancing. I think it’s because a lot of people forgot the reason the human race is nearly eradicated in this movie is because of a virus carried by primates (god I hate monkeys).
What started in Rise, becomes devastating for the humans who ten years later not only have to deal with said plague, but a growing nation of evolved apes led by the Chris Hemsworth of chimps, Caesar (am I the only one who thought he was kinda hot? Just me? Okay then).
Both this movie and 28 Days Later have taught me a valuable lesson. Monkeys/apes are gross furry people who will find ways to murder you if you give them the chance. Also, the talking ones are kinda sexy…I need help.
Honourable mention: Outbreak
Freaking monkeys y’all!
#1 12 Monkeys
Because of course 12 Monkeys had to make this list! Have you seen it? It’s pretty damn good. It’s also one of those movies the conspiracy theory peeps can get behind, as the virus was man-ma-damnit Bruce Willis! What happened to you? You use to be so good in movies! Are you mad at us? Did we hurt your feelings because we hated A Good Day to Die Hard? You have to admit that movie sucked balls, Bruce!
Sorry, where was I…right! So an ex-con, James Cole, gets sent back in time to find a cure in the future, for a virus that has decimated his world. Let’s be grateful the real world has more than a good chance of surviving as most people are smart enough to do what it takes to “flatten the curve” and get things back on track.
Brad Pitt is pretty awesome in this movie too.
Guys, I know it’s really scary out there, but remember, the human race has survived a lot of gnarly stuff over the centuries. Spanish Influenza, The Black Plague, Ebola, The Macarena and we’re still kicking.
So keep safe, isolate yourself and your loved ones as much as possible, wash your hands and remember – don’t panic. If the toilet paper runs out, you can always wash yo’ bum.
Yeah, we’re gonna be fine!
For my Top 5 Scariest Home Invasion Movies you can click here.
Sommerleigh of the House Pollonais. First of Her Name. Sushi Lover, Queen of Horror Movies, Comic Books and Binge Watching Netflix. Mother of two beautiful black cats named Vader and Kylo. I think eating Popcorn at the movies should be mandatory, PS4 makes the best games ever and I’ll be talking about movies until the zombie apoclaypse comes.
Double Tap Baby!