Julien Neaves – Editor

So the 2010s are over and it has left us with a parade of fantastic superhero movies. But in the midst of the colour, glitz and awesome action there have been a few floaters and sinkers.

So here are five of the worst superhero movies of the past decade:

#5 Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

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Here comes the rain again, falling on my head like a memory…

Come at me Snyder culters! Yes, I know some of you think BvS is a masterpiece but that’s just BS. What should have been a clash of comic titans ended up a bloated, unevenly paced and rushed film as the DCEU crashed in its mad dash to catch up to the MCU.

Sure it had a few interesting moments and some great looking shots but it tried to do too much and ended up succeeding in little. And don’t get me started on Jessie Eisenberg’s nails-on-a-chalkboard annoying not-Lex Lex Luthor. His voice alone would make anyone cry Martha, I mean uncle. And the ultimate edition does not fix the movie, it only makes it slightly more coherent at the expense of making it even more swollen.

#4 Thor: The Dark World (2013)

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Dang dude. You are really pale. Maybe you should see a Doctor. Get it? Doctor? Whovians would get it

I don’t have much to say about Thor: The Dark World because there is not a lot of movie here. Loki is fun in it and there are some cool visuals but that’s about it. Natalie Portman’s performance is phoned in (mind you, she didn’t have much to do) and Malekith is the blandest villain in a time when the MCU had a big of ole buffet of vanilla villains.

Just goes to show that even the Mighty MCU can drop a dud. Let’s hammer-fly right along.

#3 Green Lantern (2011)

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Wow. A fart cloud with a face. How intimidating

How do you take a DC character with one of the most dynamic and imaginative powers and make such a dull unimaginative movie? Well somehow Green Lantern did it.

Ryan Reynolds’ boundless charisma was not enough to lift this train wreck of a movie that was bogged down with an overstuffed plot, stupid villains (see Fart Cloud above aka Parallax) and CGI so bad it could make your eyes bleed. That suit alone, sheesh! I don’t care if it’s brightest day or blackest night, just turn this crap off.

#2 Fantastic Four (2015)

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Dr Doom? More like Dr Dumb? Or for our Trini readers “Dr Dotish”

You all just knew this had to be on this list right? And it was the feature image on this article, so there’s that. Never mind. Moving right along. Oh Fan4stic, what a pitiful Frankenstein’s-monster of a movie you were. Now I only saw this film recently (I had been avoiding it like the plague it was) and for the first half I was actually engaged. Then the second half jarringly jumped from science exploration drama to generic superhero action, and you feel like you turned the channel by accidentally slamming the remote against your head.

This movie is a monumental waste of talented people and shows what a mess creative differences can leave in its wake. And when your movie is worse than the two campy versions that preceded it (including with a more comic-accurate Dr Doom) you know that you have made a terrible, terrible mistake.

#1 Dark Phoenix (2019)

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Wow. That is some really bad acne. Clearasil ain’t gonna work. You gonna need some prescription-strength stuff

Now the previous four movies have their varying levels of craptitude (yeah I just made up that word, that’s how I roll Oxford Dictionary) at least there appeared to be some level of effort in the entire affair. Not Dark Phoenix though. Nosiree Bob.

This ill-fated swan song of the Fox X-men movies (pre-Disney takeover that is) Dark Phoenix featured uninspired performances, a dry-as-a-month-old-dog-turd script (which again butchers the iconic Dark Phoenix storyline from the comic), and characters acting in uncharacteristic and sometimes downright stupid ways. Now Michael Fassbender has a couple of fleeting moments and there is some moderately entertaining action in the final act, but take everything else and throw it in the garbage. This movie is even worse than X-Men: The Last Stand, and I hated X-Men: The Last Stand. At least X-Men: Origins: Wolverine had a great Sabretooth and some so-bad-it’s-good moments. This is just bad-bad. They should have really ended with the excellent Logan. Unfortunately we got this dumpster fire which wins the ignominious (hey, big word there!) prize of Worst Superhero Movie of the Decade!

So that’s my list. Disagree with any of them? And what’s your worst superhero movie of the last decade? Feel free to share in the comments.

For my 3 Lessons from 3 Female Superhero Flops you can click here.

Julien Neaves is a TARDIS-flying, Force-using Trekkie whose bedroom stories were by Freddy Krueger, learned to be a superhero from Marvel but dreams of being Batman. Also loves creating board games and is an aspiring Caribbean sci-fi author. Says things like “12 flavours of awesome sauce”.