Julien Neaves – Editor

You know there are some movies that everybody talks about and you just never got around to seeing. For a long time that was me, and the film was The Princess Bride. I know what you’re thinking. Inconceivable!

Now before you pull out your pitchforks and torches I did eventually see it a few years ago and I absolutely loved it. And one of the best aspects of this 1987 fantasy adventure comedy, which was directed by Rob Reiner and based on the book of the same name by William Goldman, is just how ridiculously quotable it is. So with a SPOILER ALERT here are The Princess Bride’s top five most quotable phrases:

#5 Have fun storming the castle

After Miracle Max (Billy Crystal) revives our hero Westley (Cary Elwes) from “mostly dead” to paralysed he and his wife Valerie (Carol Kane) wish our heroes all the best in storming the castle and rescuing Buttercup.

Got a friend about to tackle a difficult task and you want to both encourage them and lighten the mood? Then whip this phrase right out.

#4 That word you keep using

Of the five phrases on this list this is one of my personal favourites. The slimy Vizzini (Wallace Shawn) keeps using the word “inconceivable” and many times it is out of context. Finally Spanish fencing master Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin) calls him out on his nonsense.

And how would one employ such a phrase in real life? Easy. Know someone who loves to throw around big words but always uses them incorrectly. Then hit them this phrase to take them down a peg.

#3 Inconceivable

As mentioned above Vizzini just loves to use this word. Apparently everything is “inconceivable,” even things that are very conceivable.

You can use this entry in either an ironic, incorrect fashion or when something is actually, well, inconceivable!

#2 As you wish

You can cut the sexual tension with a sword

It’s time to get mushy. When Westley and Buttercup (Robin Wright) first meet she bosses him around and makes him do chores for her. Well excuse me not-yet princess Princess. But instead of telling her to go to the Fire Swamp, kindly Westley only responds with the phrase “As you wish.” Buttercup eventually realises “As you wish” really means “I love you” and the two fall in love.

Now using this one in real life may be a tricky one. You could use it to let your secret crush subtly know you are crushing on him/her but that may lead to your crush crushing your unrequited affection. A safer use may be to use it semi-ironically on your significant other when they ask you to do something for them.

#1 My name is Inigo Montoya

And here is the big one folks. The most quotable of the quotable. When Inigo Montoya’s father was killed by a mysterious six-fingered man he swore he would have his revenge. And before he slew his foe he would tell him “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” And when Inigo corners his foe, the six-fingered Count Rugen (Christopher Guest), he is true to his word and delivers the line. And then delivers it again. And again. And again.

Now you must be thinking “Julien. How in the Pit of Despair can this be the most quotable of the phrases.” And I will admit that unless your name is actually Inigo Montoya and you are confronting the man who killed your father, then you cannot use this one in a literal sense. But that’s what makes it even more amusing. Whether you are preparing to battle some friends in an FPS or staring down your opponent in chess this introduction/exposition/threat works perfectly. And if they have seen The Princess Bride it will likely bring a wide smile to their face, right before you decimate them.

So have you ever used one of these quotes in real life? Feel free to share in the comments. And if you enjoyed this list how about sharing it? It will be most appreciated. For my 10 Most Ludicrous Spaceballs Moments you can click here.

Julien Neaves is a TARDIS-flying, Force-using Trekkie whose bedroom stories were by Freddy Krueger, learned to be a superhero from Marvel but dreams of being Batman. Also loves creating board games and is an aspiring Caribbean sci-fi author. Says things like “12 flavours of awesome sauce.”