Sommerleigh Pollonais – Senior Writer

Children can be a wonderful thing. They’re precocious, sweet and honest to a fault (at least when they’re five and under) and to most parents they’re a blessing.

These are not those kids. These are the children that aren’t just a little bratty, but are straight up psychos who make adults think “let’s just get a dog instead.”

Strangely enough this list was one of the hardest for me to do as I asked myself “which of these evil little bastards really qualify to be on my Top 5?” So, I stayed away from the possessed (Regan-The Exorcist), literal hell spawns (Damien-The Omen) the undead (Gage and Elle – Pet Sematary) and decided to only list the rapscallions who were just being dicks for the hell of it.

Here are my TOP 5 EVIL KIDS IN HORROR MOVIES:

#5 Brett, Eden Lake

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So this one starts, like most horror movies do, with a loving couple going on vacation to a lake. Turns out there are some teens in the area and what starts out as typical douchebag teen behavior turns nasty REAL fast.

With these kids, led by their sociopathic leader Brett, the violence escalates to a level that’s scary in how realistic it’s portrayed and the ending of this movie will leave you gutted in the worst way possible.

Damn! This list got way too dark too fast. Gotta go watch some Peter Pan to balance this out!

#4 Henry, The Good Son

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Here’s a quick bit of trivia for you: so Macaulay Culkin was tired of being type-cast as the sweet mischievous kid from Home Alone so when the opportunity came to be in a movie inspired by The Bad Seed (another evil kid flick) he jumped at it. And boy am I glad he did.

Going in I totally expected something different and his performance as Henry, a young boy staying with his aunt and uncle who befriends his cousin (played by the equally amazing-for-his-age Elijah Wood) and proceeds to show increasing signs of violent and psychopathic behavior, caught me completely off guard and elevated this thriller to another level of sinister I didn’t see coming.

I wish I could say I’ve never known any kids like Henry, but I would be lying. Let’s just say he used to be my neighbor and I NEVER once volunteered to babysit!

#3 Isaac, Children of the Corn

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Cults are usually bad, but when you add creepy children who run said cult you’re now on a whole other level. I’ll be the first to admit Children of the Corn isn’t a great movie, but what, or rather who, single-handedly made this movie a cult classic is the leader of these little bastards, Isaac.

With a performance that would make any cult leader envious, Isaac speaks for He Who Walks behind the Rows and manages to outshine everyone else on screen.

To be fair to the kid actors Isaac was portrayed by John Franklin who suffered from a growth hormone deficiency which made the then 23-year old look like he was 12. That’s what I call turning lemons into lemonade!

 

#2 Luke, Better Watch Out

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SPOILER ALERT here mis amigos as Better Watch Out is one of those movies most people probably haven’t seen. It was No. 2 on my list of Top 5 Horror Films You Missed in 2017 (which you can check out here). So if you don’t want to know what Luke’s deal is, you might one to skip ahead to Numero Uno.

Now that we have that out of the way, I’VE NEVER WANTED TO PUNCH A KID IN THE FACE MORE IN MY LIFE! Luke is basically a pint-sized version of Norman Bates. On the surface he seems harmless, almost charming in his own way, and you would never once consider him a threat. That would be you first and last mistake when it came to Luke.

I really don’t want to spoil this (more than I already have) for those who haven’t seen Better Watch Out. So I’ll just say, I really hope this movie gets a sequel. Also, punch Luke in the face if you see him for me. Thanks!

 

#1 Brandon Breyer, Brightburn

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The latest addition into the creepy kid sub-genre of horror, Brandon is different from the other tots on this list for one very big reason. He has super-powers, we’re talking Superman-level super powers, but Brandon ain’t anybody’s hero. He goes from zero to evil faster than you can say, up up and away. And boy, does he make an impact, (sometimes literally…seriously did you SEE WHAT HE DID TO THE SHERIFF??!!!)

In all the evil kids I’ve come across, Brandon has to be the scariest, as there seems to be no means or no one strong enough to take this miniature Thanos down. I guess we’ll have to wait for the sequel and hope the next growth spurt he has doesn’t trigger the apocalypse.

And that’s it horror fans! Hope you enjoyed this list and let me know which terrifying tots made your list.

For my Top 5 Scariest Pets in Horror Movies you can click here.

Sommerleigh of the House Pollonais. First of Her Name. Sushi Lover, Queen of Horror Movies, Comic Books and Binge Watching Netflix. Mother of two beautiful black cats named Vader and Kylo. I think eating Popcorn at the movies should be mandatory, PS4 makes the best games ever and I’ll be talking about movies until the zombie apocalypse comes. Double Tap Baby!