So after Avengers: Infinity War everybody and their momma released a list ranking all the MCU movies, so what makes this post any different? Well, for one, I’m too lazy to do a ranking of all 19 films. In the immortal words of Sweet Brown “Ain’t nobody got time for dat!” And secondly I have something many others do not — completely subjective statistics!

Now with a planet-sized SPOILER ALERT let us count down the Top 10 MCU movies:

#10 Ant-Man

MCU Top 1
Let’s not make a mountain out of a mole hill…

Arguably the funniest MCU, and I will argue with you, Ant-Man features a likable lead and some pretty sweet special effects. There is a whole lot to love in this film featuring nobody’s favourite Avenger. Sure everyone wonders what an Edgar Wright-helmed Ant-Man would have looked like, but we still had a great hero in a small package.

Plot 4, Hero(es) 4, Villain 3, Visuals 5, Action 4, Total 20

#9 Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2

MCU Top 2
Ultimate glare off. Go!

I absolutely adored the original Guardians movie and was uber excited about the follow-up. And yes we had a wonderful villain in Kurt Russel’s Ego, some decent action, dazzling effects and some truly touching scenes. But the pacing was a bit off, not all the humour landed and it lacked the tightness of the first. Still a good watch though.

Plot 4, Hero(es) 4, Villain 4, Visuals 5, Action 4, Total 21

#8 Guardians of the Galaxy

MCU Top 3
What a bunch of a-holes

Leave it to James Gunn to take an obscure comic book team and make them one of the most successful franchises in all of the MCU. This movie is so good it is ridiculous. Hilarious, quotable, quirky characters, blast-off-your-nether-regions-action and a slamming soundtrack make for a cosmic good time. We are Groot!

Plot 4, Hero(es) 5, Villain 3, Visuals 5, Action 5, Total 22

#7 Captain America: Civil War

MCU Top 4
Cap: Those sparks are getting in my eyes! Damnit Tony. Iron Man: Language!

What? Civil War at number 7? Get out of Sokovia! Yes the movie had great action and one of the best superhero brawls of all time. And yes it did a great job balancing a bunch of characters while introducing both Black Panther and Spider-Man. But for a Captain America movie it really felt more like an Avengers movie, and while it was nice to have Zemo be a different kind of MCU villain, he is supremely forgettable.

Plot 4, Hero(es) 5, Villain 3, Visuals 5, Action 5, Total 22

#6 Spider-Man: Homecoming

MCU Top 5
And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII, will always love YOU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU…

The first time I watched this movie I enjoyed it. The second time I enjoyed it even more. Almost everything works here. Tom Holland is perfect as Parker and Spidey, Michael Keaton is fearsome and relatable as the Vulture and the mentor/mentee relationship between the web-head and Iron Man was fun. Homecoming is definitely underrated.

Plot 4, Hero(es) 5, Villain 5, Visuals 5, Action 4, Total 23

#5 Black Panther

MCU Top 6
T’Challa: Your hair looks ridiculous and you smell like Old Spice

A superhero film with a black director, black hero, and a predominantly black cast set in a fictional African country? Who wants to watch that? Apparently everybody, because Black Panther absolutely destroyed the Box Office. Of all the MCU films it has one of the deepest, most resonant, most topical plots and one of the best villains ever in Michael B. Jordan’s sadistic yet sympathetic Killmonger. There were also some very strong female leads and a sweet soundtrack. The movie loses points, however, for not focusing enough on the awesome T’Challa and for some questionable CGI.

Plot 5, Hero(es) 5, Villain 5, Visuals 4, Action 4, Total 23

#4 Iron Man

MCU Top 7
It’s a bit bulky. People may think you’re overcompensating

Movie studios, this is how you start a multi-billion dollar movie franchise. Robert Downey Jr. as genius billionaire playboy philanthropist Iron-Man was the role he was born to play and he was even more fun out of the suit than in it. Add a redemption arc, some suh-weet effects and a decent enough villain in Jeff Bridges’ Obadiah Stane and you have one of the best all-time MCU movies. And they were only getting started.

Plot 5, Hero(es) 5, Villain 4, Visuals 4, Action 5, Total 23

#3 Avengers: Infinity War

MCU Top 9
I missed the rains down in Africa, I MISSED THE RAINS!

Nuff respect to the Russo brothers for giving us a movie that paid homage and moved forward a franchise 18 movies strong. Josh Brolin’s Thanos is fantastic as the subdued genocidal baddie, though I am still not in love with his CGI. Everyone got their money’s worth with tonnes of epic action and hero combinations, a good bit of solid humour and some truly heart breaking moments. I saw the movie twice and the deaths of Gamora and Peter Parker got me both times. Both times. Damn you Russos! But the film is a whole lot to take in and the ending, while understandable, was just not satisfying.

Plot 4, Hero(es) 5, Villain 5, Visuals 5, Action 5, Total 24

#2 The Avengers

MCU Top 8
Widow: Look at the size of its… Cap: Language!

There seems to be a tendency to downplay the original Avengers film as some believe it was buoyed by the huge hype that surrounded it. But I would recommend rewatching the film because it holds up spectacularly. The awesome action, the perfectly timed humour, the deliciously evil Loki and the grand epic scale are all still there waiting to be feasted upon. And that shot of all of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes gathered together can still result in an epic nergasm.

Plot 4, Hero(es) 5, Villain 5, Visuals 5, Action 5, Total 24

Honourable mention – Thor: Ragnarok

MCU Top HM
If you’re ready come and get it, nah nah nah, nah nah nah, nah nah nah

This movie would have easily made the Top 10 if they had toned down the humour a couple notches and raised the volume on the more dramatic scenes. The Warrior’s Three were butchered and Asgard was destroyed and it was like nobody cared! Not cool man. Really not cool.

Plot 3, Hero(es) 3, Villain 4, Visuals 5, Action 4, Total 19

#1 Captain America: The Winter Soldier

MCU Top 10
Photographer: Okay guys. Give me Apocalypse Now. Great. Scarlet, you give me, hmm, Legally Blonde 2. Yes! Perfect!

Absolute perfection. This is what this movie is. Brilliant fight scenes, excellent characterisation, and a twisty and intriguing spy-plot with franchise-shaking-consequences made for the best of the MCU, bar none. It is also the movie that made the best use of Captain America, Black Widow and Nick Fury and introduced the conflicted and deadly Winter Solider.  This is the first of the Russo bros’ MCU films and it is the number one of the MCU, and also one of the best superhero movies of all time.

Plot 5, Hero(es) 5, Villain 5, Visuals 5, Action 5, Total 25

So that’s my list. What’s your favourite MCU movie? For more MCU goodness you can check out you my ranking of All 18 MCU villains here.