Greetings Whovians and people with a passing interest in Doctor Who. Last month I did a list of the Top 7 Worst Monsters that appeared in the NuWho era of the show (2005 to the present) and in an effort to do more Classic Who posts I am doing a companion piece focusing on monsters from the good old days.

Now while we understand that the special effects capabilities were not as good then as they are now, there really is no excuse for these creatures. So Allons-y, Geromino and here we go:

#7 Monoid, The Ark, First Doctor

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Hey Ma, look what I found!

I’m sorry, the Beatles bowl cut hair on these aliens look ridiculous. I keep waiting for them to break into a rendition of “Yesterday” or “Hey Jude”.

#6 Gastropods, The Twin Dilemma, The Sixth Doctor

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*squirm squirm*

Try and stay with me here – these aliens are called “Gastropods”. Gastropod is the scientific name for molluscs like snails or slug. This creature is designed like a slug. Can you say “lazy”? And the costume looks a golden garbage bag was dragged through a field of moss.

#5 Taran Wood Beast, The Androids of Tara,  Fourth Doctor

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Booga booga booga

Someone stole a Hawaiian ceremonial mask, stuck it on a gorilla costume and voila! This creature could capture you easily because you would be weak from laughing at how ridiculous it looks.

#4 Mara, Kinda, Fifth Doctor

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SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSO SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTUPID

How hard is it to do a giant snake? Just take a real snake and shoot it to make it look gigantic. This looks like something a ten year-old would throw on his sister. This dream possessing creature was supposed to be scary but just came off as silly. Side note – this episode is pronounced Kin-duh and not Kine-dah. #themoreyouknow

#3 Myrka, Warriors of the Deep, Fifth Doctor

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Excuse me. I’m looking for the Barney and Friends auditions

This Halloween parade reject and weapon of the Silurians looks horrendous. You can clearly tell that it is just some poor sap walking around in a poorly designed costume. And how do you make it look even more stupid?

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Hiyah!

You have one of the cast jump kick it of course. Not exactly the best of the Classic era.

#2 Erato, The Creature from the Pit, Fourth Doctor

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Careful, he appears excited

There’s no sugarcoating it – Erato, the Tythonian ambassador, looks like a giant penis. He looked so much like a giant penis the studio erupted in laughter and they had to add pincers to make it look less like a giant penis. And things get no better when the Fourth Doctor starts touching the giant penis and then is waved goodbye by the giant penis. Did I say giant penis?

#1 Kandyman, The Happiness Patrol, The Seventh Doctor

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Who can? I can

Some of the creatures on this list featured in decent or even great episodes but suffered due to poor design choices. But someone came up with the idea of a killer robot made of candy called (drum roll please) the freaking Kandyman! And his favorite method of killing people – “the fondant surprise” where he drowned victims in pipes of boiling candy. Was it bring your five year-old to work day in the writer’s room? This annoying abomination is the worst of the Classic Who monsters and among the worst of all of Doctor Who.

So what is your least favorite Classic Who monster? Did I leave any out? Feel free to comment below. And if you enjoyed this article feel free to like and share with your peeps. 

For my Top 7 Worst NuWho Monsters you can click here and for my Top 5 Worst Classic Who Companions you can click here. And for more wibbly wobbley timey wimey lists you can check redmangoreviews every Saturday or follow me on Twitter @suprememango012 for updates.

Julie is outie like a navel. l8rs