One of the best aspects of Doctor Who is the different monsters, aliens and creatures that our favorite Timelord has to face off against week after week. Some monsters will make you scared to blink, wary of your shadow or holding your breath. But there are also some monsters that are dreadful and the only thing scary about them is how awful they are.

So for this edition of “So Who Saturdays” we will be counting down the Top 7 (or should it be Bottom 7) worst monsters of NuWho based on their appearance, traits and abilities. Allons-y, Geronimo and here we go:

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Me? I didn’t fart!

#7 Slitheen, Aliens of London/World War Three and Boomtown, Series 1

One of the more known aliens on this list, it does not stop the Slitheen from being a bit puerile with all the farting. And their design looks like plasticine. The alien showed up in “The Sarah Jane Adventures” and was better suited for that younger audience.

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This muzak is jammin’

#6 Pigmen – Daleks in Manhattan/ Evolution of the Daleks, Series 3

Half men/half pig creatures created by the Daleks as slaves. Their makeup is an eyesore and they are only this high on the list because of the sympathetic pigman Laszlo.

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It’s a man. It’s a bat. It’s Batman!

#5 Krillitane, School Reunion, Series 2

Now before you stone me I really enjoyed “School Reunion” and it is one of my favorite episodes. I thought Anthony Stewart Head did a fantastic job as the villain Brother Lassar but the rest of his bat- like Krillitane brethren were an ugly CGI job and just uninteresting.

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There’s something fishy about this lady…

#4 Saturnyns, Vampires of Venice, Series 5

These aliens looked like generic vampires in their human fang-bearing forms but when their true fish-like form was revealed it really stunk. Not scary, not interesting, just plain bad. Throw this one back in the water guys.

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The Lord of the Jack O’ Lanterns

#3 Akhaten, The Rings of Akhaten, Series 7

So I was okay with the monster being a big planet that fed on souls. Sounds interesting on paper. But then when the planet’s face went all Halloween pumpkin things went from okay to downright ridiculous. And it just hung there and glowered. Real scary planet dude. At least we got that cool speech from Matt Smith.

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These guys look like sh–

#2 Sandmen, Sleep No More, Series 9

The Sandmen look like crap. There I said it. And any scares they might have given were completely undermined by the fact that they are created from THE COLD IN YOUR EYES, what we in Trinidad call “yampee”. We have not had a monster idea this bad since the Seventh Doctor creature the Kandyman (you can check him out here).


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Does this underwear make me look fat?

#1 Abzorbaloff, Love and Monsters, Series 2

Was there ever any doubt who would be the worst of the worst?

And yes I know the Abzorbaloff was created by a kid as part of a contest but that does not save this ghastly creature one wit. His design is equal parts head scratching and stomach turning. Let us all be glad that he melted away and never returned.

So what is your least favorite NuWho monster? Feel free to comment below.

For my countdown of the Top 10 Feels moments of NuWho you can click here and for all my previous Doctor Who posts you can click here. And for more wibbley wobbly timey posts you can follow me on Twitter @suprememango012.

Julien is outie like a navel. l8rs