Greetings from your Supreme Mango Overlord Julien.

So X-Men: Apocalypse opens in theatres in the US this weekend (it opened last week in my home country of Trinidad and Tobago and I presume some other places as well). I did a no spoiler review on it already and will do my spoiler review tomorrow.

In commemoration of the newest X-flick I thought it would be a good time to do a ranking of the top X-Men movies.

Now the X-Men film series is 9 movies in total and includes the two Wolverine solo efforts and this year’s Deadpool. But for this list I want to focus on the main series. So in summary of these others: X-Men Origins: Wolverine is a hot mess in almost every respect (Liev Schreiber is cool as Sabertooth though), The Wolverine is decent and Deadpool (reviewed here) is fantastic. Got it?

Let’s move on to the list:

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They told me I’d look cool in this suit. They lied

#6 X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

Stinkin’ Brett Ratner. So after two well received films Bryan Singer left the X-flicks and we got stuck with the director of the Rush Hour films. Everything that could go wrong went wrong.

The story is flat, the characterisation is dumb and the action is lame. They messed up the Juggernaut, one of the most iconic X-men villains, and the Dark Phoenix Saga, one of the most iconic X-Men stories. Now that takes skill.

It’s like they just threw a bunch of characters at a wall and hoped something would stick. Nothing does. I can’t even bear to rewatch this movie. I tried once and got an instant headache. And it hurt even more because it came after the excellent X2. Sad face.

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Could someone turn on the light? I can barely see

#5 X-Men (2000)

Thankfully after The Last Stand the other X-flicks range from decent to outstanding. The one that started it all came out when superhero movies were still a novelty and helped pushed the genre forward.

We were first introduced as Hugh Jackman as Wolverine and he owned the role. Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen were great as Professor X and Magneto respectively. The action scenes are okay but not overly impressive and the plot is derivative. Rogue is not sexy and sassy as she was in the comics and that was really a let down. And Storm is sadly not the strong and regal character from the comics either.

If X-Men is on TV I may watch it briefly but it is not a must see.

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Can’t I kill just one politician?

#4 X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)

I must be one of the few people who did not love this film. It just left me feeling a bit “meh”.

Now I enjoyed all the stuff in the future and it was great seeing characters like Bishop and Warpath on screen for the first time. And Halle Berry barely talked so that was great; MY Storm has an African accent thank you very much.

But most of the stuff in the 1970s did nothing for me. Professor X was whiny, Magneto did not have much of a story arc, Wolverine had the power of exposition and the climax was action-lite. I really loved the Quicksilver scene though. That was awesome.

The best thing DOFP did was to reboot the story line so we could all forget The Last Stand and Wolverine Origins ever happened.

I told you to RECYCLE!
I told you to RECYCLE!

#3 X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)

Now the quality of this film may vary from “crap” to “best ever” depending on who you talk to. If you talk to me I will tell you it was pretty good. I felt a sense of awe and wonder watching this movie, and that rarely happens to me in movies generally.

The visuals are impressive, there are some great performances and it is a jolly good time. Not a perfect movie but a solid one. Do check it out.

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Come with me if you want to live

#2 X-Men: First Class (2011)

Now remember First Class came after the awful duo of The Last Stand and X-Men Origins: Wolverine so it had a lot riding on it. One more crap movie and the X-flicks could have been completely written off.

This movie not only redeemed the franchise but took it next level. James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender are pitch perfect as Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr, and Kevin Bacon is awesome as villain Sebastian Shaw. We get to see the creation of the school and Cerebro, and a group of young mutants training to use their powers and coming together as a team.

And that final scene of the X-Men versus the Hellfire Club? Oh so epic. I can watch First Class any day, any time and thoroughly enjoy myself. A must see.

Are you ready for your massage Mr Logan?
Are you ready for your massage Mr Logan?

#1 X2 (2003)

This movie is perfection. Bryan Singer is like Green Arrow, Hawkeye and Robin Hood had an archer baby – he hits EVERY mark.

The opening scene of Nightcrawler at the White House is jaw dropping and is still the best scene in any of the X-flicks. And that scene with him in the airplane had me cheering in the cinema.

We finally see Wolverine go full berserker mode and his clash with Lady Deathstrike is beautifully brutal. Brian Cox is brilliant as the mutant hating William Stryker. The discrimination faced by mutants and the struggles they face really comes to the fore well. There is organic humor, great visuals, a strong story and a powerful conclusion. It is the best X-Men movie and one of the best superhero movies of all time.

So that’s my list? Do you agree or disagree? How would you rank the X-flicks? Feel free to comment below.

For my Deadpool review you can click here and for my X-Men: Apocalypse review you can click here. And for more movie reviews you can click the follow tab to the right and follow me at suprememango012.

Got your back like a chiropractor. l8rs.